Self-limiting beliefs in motherhood: How to spot them, challenge them, & persist through them

Let’s be honest, we’ve all experienced these thoughts before…

“I’m a bad mom”

“I’m not ________ enough”

“I don’t know what I’m doing”

“I don’t have enough  __________ anymore”

“People will judge me”

“No one gets what I’m going through”

“No one is there for me”

“I can’t handle it”

“I have to come last now”

But thinking negatively about ourselves, others, and the world often leads us to feel MORE stressed out!

New moms are predisposed to feel more stressed. Major life transition, body changes, hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, balancing the needs of others with your own, need I say more? The problem is, feeling stressed can lead to more negative thoughts, which then causes MORE stress! We can easily get stuck in this cycle of negativity. So…how can you deal with negative thoughts that create mom-guilt, keep you from doing what you want, cause issues with your spouse/loved ones, and interfere with your ability to find the joys of motherhood?!

Studies show that people who practice reducing negative thoughts and increasing positive thoughts tend to feel less stressed, less depressed, and have higher self-esteem. So, lets practice changing our mindsets, mamas!

*Be aware of the signs*

Heart beating fast, sweating, muscle tension, racing thoughts, etc.

*Notice your thinking*

“What am I thinking about myself, other(s), or the world right now?”

*Examine themes and patterns*

Have I felt stuck like this before? Where did that lead me?

*Challenge or reframe the thought into something productive or helpful*

Is it true? What are the facts?

Is it helpful? Is it productive?

Does thinking this way make me feel better?

Does thinking this way get me closer to what I want/value?

“I’m a bad mom”          à        “I’m doing my best”

“I’m not ________ enough”        à        “I don’t need to be perfect”

“I don’t know what I’m doing”           à        “I’m still learning, it’s not easy!”

“I don’t have enough  __________ anymore”      à        “If it’s important to me, I can try to figure it out”

“People will judge me”            à        “I know what’s best for our family”

“No one gets what I’m going through”           à        “I can talk to my spouse/friends/loved ones”

“No one is there for me”          à        “I have these people in my life to support me”

“I can’t handle it”        à        “I don’t have to do this alone”

“I have to come last now”       à        “Taking care of myself helps my baby too”

*Notice any change in your feelings and actions*

Jennifer Berry Wang, LMFT 98916